i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Vodka?
Forever.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
