New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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