the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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