we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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