shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
