this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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