do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
