i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
