i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
