I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize