It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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