I'm going to jail i love you
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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