one two three fourrrrnication!
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize