do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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