But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
