did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
