You work out of a Hotel?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I have aggressive nipples.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
