I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
