Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
