I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just want nice things and good sex
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
