I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
