It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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