OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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