Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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