Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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