she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
