So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
