we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
