I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
