Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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