While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
