the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
