Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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