Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
high people should be assigned attendants
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
