I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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