i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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