so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
