so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
