The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
