Pants 0. Shit 1.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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