FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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