im so drunk with asians
where?
always
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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