you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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