Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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