Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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