you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
