Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
