Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
