I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
