hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize