My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
she peed on how many people?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
