i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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