There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
