I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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