Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize