i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
