BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize