Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
