Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
