i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize