i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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