I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
