the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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