tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize