were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
